Life through the eyes of a lonely car mechanic

Back on track

2005-06-14T15:35:00.000+02:00

I decided to register a domain since I will be hosting at least my own and probably at least one other car project in the future. This means that my alternate blog should be back online as soon as the domain registration has gone through, so have a look at http://nms.bilgalning.se/blog.txt to find out.

Murphy's law

2005-06-13T16:23:00.000+02:00

I checked and double checked the URL before I started to write in the alternate blog, but for some odd reason the hostname nms.regerar.org was removed from DNS on thursday, five days after posting here about it. I can't seem to get in touch with the guy responsible for the domain and/or DNS in question, so I guess I'll have to register a new domain for myself. It feels a bit like a complete waste of time and money, but perhaps I can manage to arrange things so that I don't have to pay for it until after everything else has been settled.

Desperate readers will catch the blog on http://102b.skogsglantan.ac/nms/blog.txt for the time being.

Alternate blogs

2005-06-03T21:07:00.000+02:00

I have decided to let my other identity make his voice heard in a Swedish "blog". This means that I will probably not post as often here as you are all used to, which is somewhere close to bi-weekly these days.

Those of you who understand swedish may or may not wish to take a look at http://nms.regerar.org/blog.txt to get better informed about what happens in the life of a currently not very lonely car mechanic. First post will be an update about my current situation in life, so both new and returning readers will get a couple of unasked questions answered.

I might return here some day, but I don't think it will be any time soon, and it probably won't be interesting.

Ashamed?

2005-05-18T18:55:00.000+02:00

Yes, I most certainly am. I'm ashamed for all my unpaid debts, but feeling bad about owing people money does not make me any richer.

Don't worry, if I owe you money you will get it. I'm not in any way trying to run from my debts, I'm just hiding from them at the moment. When I constantly live with just enough money to pay my bills and feed me through a month I just don't give a shit about who I owe money and how much they nag about it. Last month I was forced to quit smoking - a vice I did not really want to give up - for financial reasons. This month I had to borrow my girlfriend's personal Jet gasoline billing card to get to and from work without spending all my food money on fuel.

No, I'm not the kind of guy who talks to people about postponing payments and similar. For some reason I was never raised with social skills as a goal, and some skills I would have been a lot better off if I had learned a long time ago are just now starting to develop. That's not some kind of excuse or cry for help, that's the simple fact and is not open for discussion or treatment.

I admit I'm really lousy with financial planning and I have never been really good at saving money. I can probably list about a hundred less thought trough financial decisions done by me in the last five years or so. This does not change the decisions made or the results thereof, and nothing I can do really will.

This month is my first with my new employer, and I'm having a great time compared to the place I worked before. Financially, this month is looking quite good; I might not be able to pay all my debts entirely, but I will make substantially debt reducing payments to a certain number of individuals.

Just calm down and leave me alone. Comments like "why [...]?", "when [...]?", "how [...]?" and variations of "put your money where your keyboard is" will not yield results interesting to either of us.

Evolution

2005-05-14T10:24:00.000+02:00

This morning, while still in bed letting my mind associate its way through the world I started thinking about the 19th century war between Sweden and Russia, which took a lot of soldiers' lives in battles around these parts of the country. This got me thinking about how wars are waged and fought: Often there are two or more leaders sitting at a table discussing how to draw borders on a map or share mutual resources, and when these discussions run into a dead end they give orders for their armies to attack each other.

I slept a lot in school, and hence am not too familiar with world history, but I have a general grasp of what has happened through the ages. Allow me to try to recap a little:

In pre-historic times - neanderthals, homo erectus and those guys - a handful of cavemen would toss rocks and beat wooden sticks at another handful of cavemen, probably with no better excuse than "nobody but me can piss on that tree" or similar.

In ancient times - romans and greeks conquering the world - kings and emperors talked more or less peacefully about a piece of land or (as in the case of the greeks and the spartans) some woman and when they can't agree they let their armies fight it out.

In medieval times - for some reason also known as "the dark ages" - the armies would fight blindly for years until one side got the bright idea to kill the other side's leader, and suddenly the war was over.

In modern times - democratic world leaders teaching dictators how to run their countries - the size and number of mushroom clouds decides which country has the most power, and armies are used to defeat those countries who currently does not have nukes but could potentially show a bigger and better cloud in the near future.

I live in Sweden and haven't had any first hand experience of war, so I can only relate to it through what I have seen in news, Discovery documentaries and Hollywood movies. At my last job I had a trainee from Iraq, who (naturally) had real, first hand experience of war, and when I asked him about what he felt about a friend of mine who was born in Iran he said "I don't care where he's from - we did not fight that war, our leaders did."

Today, we can see this evolution of war in the actions of football "supporters":
The hooligans are going from rocks and sticks to firearms these days; how long before football is all about mushroom clouds?

Smoking kills

2005-04-29T16:31:00.000+02:00

In my case it kills my financial situation, so despite my actual love for smoking (I've never had any other relationship last eight years) I have now gone almost four days without a single intentional inhalation of toxic fumes (not counting exhaust gases at work, of course). I have resisted every temptation to buy cigarettes, and tried to spend as much time as possible with my new female companion, which has actually proven to be quite a remarkable way to take my mind off the addiction.

My greatest fear in this situation is that if I come to the conclusion that my economy once again can support this lethal addiction, I might fall back into the habit. I can control most of my bodily functions and emotions through will power, but smoking is on the absolute edge of what I can handle. Insanity seems to help, so if you see me climbing things or hear me making odd noises you know why.

In the beginning...

2005-04-27T10:04:00.000+02:00

One day, after a near eternity in the Garden of Eden, Adam calls out to God, "Lord, I have a problem."

"What's the problem, Adam?", God replies.

"Lord, I know you created this place for me, with all this lovely food and all of the beautiful animals, but I am lonely."

"Well Adam, in that case I have the perfect solution. I shall create a 'woman' for you."

"What's a 'woman', Lord?"

"This 'woman' will be the most intelligent, sensitive, caring and beautiful creature I have ever created. She will be so intelligent that she can figure out what you want before you want it. She will be so sensitive and caring that she will know your every mood and how to make you happy. Her beauty will rival that of the heavens and earth. She will unquestioningly care for your every need and desire. She will be the perfect companion for you.", replies the heavenly voice.

"Sounds great."

"She will be, but this is going to cost you, Adam."

"How much will this 'woman' cost me Lord?", Adam replies.

"She'll cost you your right arm, your right leg, an eye, an ear, and your left testicle."

Adam ponders this for some time, with a look of deep thought and concern on his face. Finally Adam says to God, "Hmmm, what can I get for a rib?"

The rest, as they say, is history.

This little "history" was stolen and I do not know the origin. If I'm stepping on anyones copyright toes here, sue me.

[Swedish]

2005-04-06T07:56:00.000+02:00

http://www.bojkott.nu/

It seems I got it

2005-04-05T19:54:00.000+02:00

About three weeks ago I stumbled upon a bit of information regarding a local car garage looking for a mechanic. I went to talk to the boss of the company in question, thinking it wouldn't hurt applying for it, even though I had no real hopes of ever getting out of my current employment situation. He said they would review the applications the first days after the easter weekend and get back to me.

Come this monday I had almost forgotten about it, when suddenly I got a phone call from the boss mentioned earlier. We decided I would come by and look at their workshop and meet the other members of the staff this morning, which I did. 30 minutes later it was decided I will start as soon as possible but no later than May 1st.

After mentioning my new employment to my current employer we agreed that I will stay on until April 30th to give them some time to find a replacement. I know - finding a replacement for me is quite difficult, but at least I'll give them a chance.

Well, anyhow; wish me luck with my new job and all.

The truth uncovered

2005-03-28T11:08:00.000+02:00

Apparently she can communicate: Terri Schiavo's blog.

A report from the trenches

2005-03-19T12:17:00.000+01:00

I know some of you are dying to get an update on the situation involving the female I have been seeing, so I thought I'd post a little note on the subject.

I don't know if I mentioned this before, but I decided last weekend that I would let her make further contact unless there was something in particular I wanted to talk to her about. Said and done, on tuesday afternoon I called her to ask if she wanted to join the usual suspects for a couple of hours of poker the same evening, which she politely declined with a good excuse. Against any odds I might have set up for her calling me within the next week she actually did on thursday evening, asking if I wanted to meet her this weekend. Trying hard not to sound too enthusiastic (like any nerd would when a girl wants to meet him) I agreed to call her on saturday (today) to set up a movie date.

Now I'm off to pick up my mother who has been shopping food for dinner tonight.

My name is uid0 and I'm a gambling addict

2005-03-17T02:57:00.000+01:00

Just to clear up a few details: Freerolls are tournaments without buy-in, which means it costs absolutely nothing to play. Depending on skill level and number of players it may take up to a couple of hours, and since I somehow busted my back by catching a cold (?) I'm not going to work tomorrow, so a few hours playing poker online won't hurt when there is a slight chance of winning money.

I enjoy the game and get an adrenaline rush every time I place risky bets or go all-in, but I have no intention what so ever to make this a full time job or to spend all my hard earned cash trying to win back previous month's hard earned cash - that would just place me in a downward spiral leading to my own destruction.

So, if you notice me getting all crazy and spending way too much time and money on gambling of any kind, please do not hesitate to grab me by the arm and shake me about a little.

Selling my soul for chips

2005-03-17T01:27:00.000+01:00

A couple of weeks ago I accidentaly joined a couple of friends playing poker (the Texas Hold 'Em kind), a game which I had never played before. After learning the basics and playing a couple of times, this past sunday evening I decided to give online poker a try. After a couple of days of not really knowing how to play smart and dropping out of a couple of freeroll tournaments, tonight (just about ten minutes ago) I managed to (with the help of a good friend with a great deal of card playing experience) make it to 299th place out of 8980 players in a $1,000 freeroll tournament. Had I made it to 260th place I would have received $1.50, and had I reached first place I would have received $134. Now I'm signed up for another identical tournament beginning in 25 minutes, so I better go out and have a smoke and recharge my adrenaline glands before it's time to get serious again.

Wish me luck.

Oh, dear...

2005-03-10T23:08:00.000+01:00

I'm not quite sure what to say or do, or even where to say or do it. Women will be the death of me.

She came here tonight to watch a movie. Besides watching the movie we took a break and went to look at an apartment that she's moving to this summer. On our way back from said apartment to my place to finish watching the movie we dropped by at a mutual friend of ours to get a CD and exchange a few words about pretty much nothing worth mentioning at all.

After the movie we talked about music for a while, and then she decided she needed to go home to get some sleep before work tomorrow. Since I'm in the same situation (of needing sleep before going to work) I couldn't more than agree and said good bye, silently ignoring my wish to first hold her in my arms for a while.

On an entirely different subect; I can really recommend Roger Waters' album "The pros and cons of hitch hiking." I rediscovered it about a week ago after not listening to it for a couple of years, and it still impresses me.

Time to place my head on the pillow. Good night.

She's quite amazing

2005-03-06T23:08:00.000+01:00

I did not have very high hopes about her before going on the date tonight. After all, I had only spoken a few words with her before.

She's simply lovely. Gorgeous, smart and with quite sensible looks on life and the world. What remains to be discovered is whether she is lovely enough for me to find her interesting in the long run, as well as whether or not she finds me interesting enough to care what I think about her.

All I'm afraid of is the risk of me falling for her too soon and then realizing she's not interested, a situation I'm all too familiar with.

I will think about this matter until tomorrow, while catching some well deserved sleep.

I'm hungry, and I mean that in an entirely nutritional way.

Gmail

2005-03-04T09:01:00.000+01:00

I currently have 50 invitations to Gmail to share with anyone who wants one. If you feel a need for a web based e-mail service that will never die and a massive 1GB of storage for your inbox, send me an e-mail and tell me who you are. Individuals attaching a photo of themselves with their request will get an invitation without further delays.

I did it!

2005-03-01T22:48:00.000+01:00

I called her! She didn't hang up on me! Yay me!

What to do?

2005-03-01T14:59:00.000+01:00

In a parallel dimension from this one I would have already called her, taken her out on a date and impressed her beyond imagination.

In this dimension I'm stuck on questions like "what should I say to her?" and "how does one go about talking to a woman whom I have met but never spoken to?", leaving me with a head full of thoughts but no real answers.

I seem to remember whining about the topic of calling women before, but I fear this is a bit different. Compared to the other women I've mentioned, she's far too cute for me to just write off as 'not worth the hassle'. I simply have to do something.

I guess I will call her tonight. Wish me luck.

Paranoia and people to count on

2005-02-22T19:40:00.000+01:00

In a fit of complete lack of anything better to do I decided to check out a couple of blogs I happen to have bookmarked, and was pleased to see that en0l had submitted another semi-nonsense post yesterday. While reading through it I noticed two links, both of which I placed in the back of my head as things to return to when I had finished reading the post, since some people have the nasty habit of creating links that replace the contents of the current window. Upon reaching the last line of the post I went back and noticed that the first link was something about the Paris Hilton cellphone hacker chaos unleashed on the intarweb a couple of days ago (a link that did open in a new window but ended up at a 404, I might add), while the second link had something to do with blog author paranoia and linked directly to... my blog. I know I'm considered by many of my friends to be paranoia incarnate, but to link the word "paranoid" to my blog?

To be quite honest I don't remember if I actually laughed out loud when I read it or if I just smiled. Posts like these contradict my personal belief that every single person I know are boring idiots that don't understand a joke if it does not involve someone getting hurt or something at least remotely seuxally. I don't know if I would still be alive if it wasn't for the uplifting phone conversations I can always rely on en0l supplying me with when I'm feeling shit out of luck at work.

If I were to end this post here without at least mentioning en0l's girlfriend she would simply kill me since she's been asking me a couple of times to write about her in my blog. Hey, I guess I'm fresh out of imagination, because I can't think of anything to write about her other than what I already mentioned. Oh, and that she has lovely eyes; she loves that.

What happen?

2005-02-18T07:45:00.000+01:00

I'm sitting here on the corner of my bed, listening to Elton John and reading a couple of blogs. The list of blogs I have bookmarked as tabs includes my own, and I noticed some time has passed since my last post. What better way to spend this early friday morning when the World of Warcraft servers have been taken down for maintenance than to toss together something for you, my readers to start your day with?

At eight in the morning those of my regular readers not sleeping in my bed at the moment are hard at work, and so I guess most of you are well on your way towards lunch before reading this.

Oh, did I mention I moved? I now live in my own bedroom in a real apartment. I think this room is the biggest of all the bedrooms I've had through my life. I have all my three monitors standing next to each other on a table at the foot of the bed, and my TV is at the middle of the opposite wall, so there's quite a lot of empty floorspace at the moment.

It's getting close to the time when I should start getting to work, so you'll have to make do without anything interesting to read from my part of the world.

Don't you feel like crying?

2005-01-04T23:12:00.000+01:00

She was my first of sorts, and in some ways she still is. Had I not done what I did, neither of us would be who we are today, and I truly believe we both live richer lives now than we would have in the parallell universe where things went the other way.

I can't quite figure out a working philosophy covering whether or not it's plausible that our relationship of seven years ago either doesn't affect or improve our mutual interest in each other in the present. All my conclusions in the matter point to the probability that she still hates my guts but had a momentary lapse of reason (any Pink Floyd fans reading?) on new years eve. I have no way what so ever to actively find out how true my theories are, unless I reach the point where I feel I might as well rip my own heart out and hand it to her to see what she does to it.

Where is the fucking rulebook on this kind of shit? If you find yourself having a crush on some unknown woman you simply make sure to get her number or address and give her a call or send her a nice note or bunch of flowers. If the woman is a friend or a friend's friend, the deal is even easier. What the hell are you supposed to do when the woman is a former girlfriend to whom you have not spoken in several years and with whom you have no current relation or means of casual contact?

It's not like I want to sign a contract on a life long relationship, but the woman I met a few days ago only visually reminded me of the girl I knew seven years ago. Her personality has matured amazingly (which I guess seven years do to most people), and this intrigues me to the point that I want to get to know her (again).

If anything happens I will keep you posted. Don't hold your breath.

Ouch!

2005-01-04T05:20:00.000+01:00

I woke up at about 0450 (that's in the morning for you 12h people) with intense pains in my arms. I still can't stretch the arms straight out with fear of muscles snapping, but at least they don't feel like they're going to break.

This incident resulted in me remembering what I was dreaming just before waking up. It was a strange dream for sure, but the strangest detail of all was that a former girlfriend of mine showed up in it. She was all friendly and stuff, and even kissed me on the back of my shoulder at one point, with really made me wonder what the hell was wrong. This is not the same girl as the one I met on new years eve, but a certain individual I spoke to about that incident thought it was this girl I met in that situation. I suspect that this individual mentioning her set this dream off in the first place.

I hate dreaming about girls, especially former girlfriends or girls I for some reason or another have had a crush on. In most of my dreams, girls who are pure evil in real life (which most of them are) act like we have never had a fight or even argued about which channel to watch on the TV. I find this disturbing, since I hate dreaming lovely things and then waking up to my hateful reality.

Thanks to the female individual who passed me the URL in the link above; you're not like all the rest.

Online loot!

2005-01-03T01:53:00.000+01:00

Ok, it's ridiculous, but I found a bunch of online lotteries (or whatever you might want to call it). Since the chances of winning increases if I invite other people to participate in each lottery I'm posting the URLs here:

http://calsms.com/24/36/160/460282/460502
http://calsms.com/27/39/257/460281/460604
http://calsms.com/34/45/230/460279/460588
http://calsms.com/37/49/303/460277/460666
http://calsms.com/36/47/277/460269/460629

Please help me win! Oh, and if you do not want to participate yourself, please redistribute the above URLs to other people.

If you find other lotteries with the same type of strategy and need to increase your own chances, do not hesitate to invite me.

Chances are these lotteries are available only for Swedish residents, but I'm not entirely certain.

A new year of ranting

2005-01-02T02:54:00.000+01:00

Happy new year, dear readers.

This year started out in the strangest way possible for me, but I have yet to decide whether or not it did so in a positive or negative way. New years eve more or less started with dinner with my mother and one of my brothers, after which I went back home and checked on IRC while pondering over what to do at midnight and - more importantly - where to do it. Rumors had it a friend of mine had a party, so I went there to check it out and instantly received an offer to buy a bottle of vodka (since I had no alcoholic beverages and this particular festivity more or less requires some level of drunkedness). After about five minutes of careful consideration I drove my car back home and took a fifteen minute walk back to the party, stopping by at Shell for cigarettes and a bottle of Schweppes mixer.

The party went on as new years parties mostly do, with most participants getting slightly drunker over time up to midnight, at which fireworks are launched and admired. After that it's all downhill for some people, and this year I admit to being one of those people.

What made my new year start in what in my opinion was a strange way had little to do with the party itself, though. One of the guests at the party was a young lady with whom I had a relationship seven years ago. We had not talked much since then due to various reasons and other people's involvement, but for some reason she initiated a game of drunken catching up while we were outside smoking. Whatever the reasons might have been for us to drop contact with each other all those years ago neither of us seemed to care.

Somehow I ended up sleeping at her place (the official excuse being that her apartment is much closer than my residence to the location of the party) and despite my usual drunken horniness, her exquisitely beautiful body and me sleeping next to her nothing happened. It's terrible, but it seems I have grown so accustomed to my earlier vow of celibacy that even a gorgeous woman whom I have loved before and undoubtedly would love again if given the chance could break my cool.

The downside of this is I'm probably not going to stop thinking about her for a couple of weeks. I broke her heart once and so I figure she has all the reason and excuse in the world to break mine, but the question is if I should give her the opportunity. However minimal, there is still a chance she would not want to break it but keep it, and I'm quite sure it's better I give her the opportunity and take the chance to win her than simply closing that door without exploring the possibilities.

Love and its related emotions is probably the most dangerous drug in circulation: It directly influences most vital parts of the brain, often results in senseless expenses, alters the personality and may result in international war - the only thing it has no way of accomplishing without outside help is killing the intoxicated individual. Why hasn't it been outlawed, put under strict control or taxed to insanity like everything else with similar effects?

Tsunami

2004-12-31T13:15:00.000+01:00

The intense media frenzy over the tsunami aftermath in asia has dulled my interest. We are literally flooded with pictures and information about how it happened, why nobody was warned, how many died, how many are missing and so on, and it quickly becomes too much for those of us who have no friends or relatives in the area.

We must not forget that there are people suffering, though. Please shut off the TV or throw away the newspaper if you find yourself hit with too many handycam shot of the water rushing into hotels, images of relatives crying, maps of the area with the quake epicenter marked with a big red circle or simply death tolls. Instead, pick up the phone or your web browser and find the best way for you to donate money to legitimate help organizations operating in the critical area. You do not have to donate everything you own to make a difference, just send whatever you can spare. If we want to make this a better world, we must start by learning to care for people we do not know.

Here is an image of one of the beaches hit by the tsunami that has been shown in the media in the last few days. WARNING! The image contains quite a few corpses - sensitive viewers be careful!

Below is a link to Aftonbladet (a swedish tabloid newspaper), which has organized a joint fund raiser with swedish TV4 and the swedish Red Cross. If this is not appropriate for you for any reason, please try to find some other way to donate, but be cautious of fake fund raisers - make sure you donate money to asian aid and not to someone's personal gaming debt.

[Swedish]
Du kanske inte har vänner eller släktingar i det drabbade området, men många andra har. Aftonbladet, TV4 och Röda Korset har en gemensam insamling till förmån för de drabbade i området.

http://www.aftonbladet.se/flodvagornasoffer/

Om du inte vill skänka pengar via just denna insamling, sök efter andra möjligheter att bidra.
[/Swedish]

Extra! Extra!

2004-12-29T22:07:00.000+01:00

You'll never guess what I've been up to tonight. Since you will never guess it, I will tell you: I have been to one of the local work out clubs and... worked out! I even brought home a form to fill out and sign to receive a nice membership card. The plan is to work out twice a week to build myself a better (and healthier) body, as well as making a serious attempt to quit smoking. Wish me luck.

[Swedish] Namninsamling mot höjning av fordonsskatten

2004-12-25T01:58:00.000+01:00

http://www.namninsamling.com/site/get.asp?Infinite

It's that time of the year once again

2004-12-23T18:04:00.000+01:00

Most of you know the drill; one month of furious christmas shopping followed by two days of intense, stressful driving to some distant part of the family, one or two days of mindwrecking socializing with relatives you hoped you'd never have to meet again, a not quite as stressful but still intense drive back home and back to work while reviewing the expenses of the last 30 days, once again realizing it goes against common sense to go through it all every single year.

My past month has consisted of working, eating, sleeping, and blogging. The only stress I feel is that of all the people around me trying to find that last christmas present that says everything you want it to but doesn't cost a fortune while waiting until the last minute before fixing the car, hoping that it will heal itself instead of generating more expenses.

On the bright side (mine, at least) I calculated my bonus income so far this month and came to the conclusion that I will be able to pay my bills with the bonus alone and spend the rest on myself. For the first time in a long, long time it feels like life is good to me. I have no doubt what so ever that an airplane crashing into my house or similar compensating incident will occur within a few days.

Have you considered doing or even done something to help a stranger today? How about letting someone at the grocery store cut in ahead of you in line to the checkout because they only have one single item and you're not in that awful rush you have fooled yourself into believing you are? Maybe volunteering to shovel snow off your neighbour's driveway or (if you don't have a neighbour or your neighbour doesn't have a driveway) offer a bit of christmas dinner to someone who needs it better than the trashcan or your dog.

Well, as custom is this day every year I bid you all a merry christmas. Don't make it your last one by driving too fast on icy roads or eating to much food.

The fourth playlist

2004-12-23T00:39:00.000+01:00

How's that dancefloor mentality of yours these days? Here are some tracks to help you get your juices flowing:

Das Ich - "Destillat [VNV Nation remix]"
VNV Nation - "Saviour"
ATB - "Hold you [Ratty remix]"
Manmade Man - "1920"
Shakta & Moonweed - "Micronesia"
Holymen - "The last universe"
Man With No Name - "Sugar rush [Refined mix]"
Galaxee - "The crow song"

Remember; you don't need narcotics to enjoy music. A bottle of cold water is quite refreshing.

The third playlist

2004-12-23T00:25:00.000+01:00

Feeling like you're drowning in love, or maybe you just wish you were? Happy or not, here are some tunes for ya:

Alicia Keys - "A woman's worth"
Iio - "Rapture"
Gary Moore - "Still got the blues"
Rednex - "Wish you were here"
Aaliyah - "Are you feelin' me?"
Belinda Carlisle - "Leave a light on for me"
Art Garfunkel - "Bright eyes"
Reo Speedwagon - "Can't fight this feeling"

Now go tell that special someone how you feel. I mean it! GO NOW!

More of this and Kerry might have won

2004-12-21T23:58:00.000+01:00

http://www.collegehumor.com/?image_id=73606 (Warning: Nudity)

The second playlist

2004-12-21T23:12:00.000+01:00

Ok, let's say you're pissed off because some idiot took the last bit of chocolate in the box on the table in the staff lounge at work, because you followed some cute girl/guy somewhere and ended up in the middle of nowhere with no ride or simply because my taste in music ticks you off like the U.S. does Usama.

Limp Bizkit - "Break stuff"
Drowning Pool - "Bodies"
Rammstein - "Du hast"
The Prodigy - "Fuel my fire"
Ramirez - "Terapia"
DKAY.COM - "Firestarter"
Apoptygma Berzerk - "Bitch"
Lambretta - "Bimbo"

Feel like killing anyone yet?

The first playlist

2004-12-20T23:31:00.000+01:00

Time for the first of my promised playlists. This one is for situations in which you find yourself in a happy mood but wasting it thinking about unanswered love or similar depressing subjects.

La Bouche - "In your life (Dezrok vocal mix)"
Kate Ryan - "Libertine"
Alicia Keys - "Fallin"
ZZ Top - "Blue jean blues"
Basement Jaxx - "Broken dreams"
Dire Straits - "Romeo and Juliet"
DJ Tiësto - "Love comes again"
Fragma - "Time and time again"

Enjoy!

Smoking, stalking and screwing up a weekend

2004-12-19T14:57:00.000+01:00

I cut down on my smoking yesterday. Smoked four cigarettes all day, and that was after buying a small pack of Marlboros at some time between seven and eight in the PM, so I managed to get four sticks of cancer done in about six hours. The first of them didn't even taste good. I really should stop completely, but I make excuses like my boss smoking constantly and the risk of me substituting the smoking habit with an eating habit or similar. We all know these excuses are just silly and simply some sort of self denial. The day I can convince myself I will feel much better not smoking I will manage to stop. One great help would be a girlfriend to talk to, think about and have sex with every time the urge for a cigarette shows up.

There's this girl who now and then drops her family's car off for repairs where I work. She works as a black jack dealer at various night clubs in the city core which, combined with my love for black jack guarantees we run into each other now and then. One such occasion was on friday, when a friend of mine and myself went to one of the local night clubs and headed for the "casino" area (which is two black jack tables and a roulette table). There, behind one of the black jack tables she was, cute as always. At about 650SEK (~€70, ~US$100) on my downside she closed the table, so I asked her how much money I'd have to lose to get a date. Apparently she's "not the dating type", but she told me when and where she'd be working the next few days. She wouldn't give me her phone number, but thanks to a couple of excellent websites I found the number for her personal GSM phone. My fear is public (and her) opinion regarding the fact that I found her phone number "against her will." If I manage to find the number to the owner of a car I want to know more about I'm resourceful, but if I find the number for a woman I fancy I might as well be a stalker.

For some odd reason I'm in quite a good mood, despite having spent 700SEK on absolutely nothing on friday and accomplishing just about as much on saturday (although not spending quite as much). Not smoking might be good for me. It could be the upbeat music I'm listening to, though.

One of these days I will compile a set of playlists for different moods and post here for your enjoyment.

Cheerio!

Do update

2004-12-15T22:23:00.000+01:00

I got a haircut today. Now I look even better than before, but there still aren't hordes of beautiful women competing for my attention.

Kill. Kill! KILL!

2004-12-12T15:05:00.000+01:00

I'm so god fucking damned fed up with this life, this city, this country, this world and all the people in it I just don't know what to do. There's an ongoing debate about the alcohol taxes in Sweden, as well as debates about gasoline and diesel taxes, income taxes, tobacco taxes and all the other taxes the government come up with to fill the hole in the state budget created by their own salaries.

Politics is all about making the situation as good as possible for yourself and people who think like you. Imagine how the world would look like if politicians worked to make the situation as good as possible for everyone. Here are my suggestions for a better world:

Outlaw insane salaries - nobody works enough to earn more than €3000 a month.
Disband Systembolaget (the Swedish state monopoly on liquor sales), illegalise the sale and purchase of alcohol but allow import and possession and let those who intoxicate themselves take responsibility for their actions while doing it and the results thereof.
Redefine the expression "personal integrity" and change the laws around it to allow for surveillance anywhere and anytime. Those who are innocent have nothing to fear, do they?
Reintroduce capital punishment for any crimes committed affecting other, innocent people in any way.
Do not pay out of the state budget for treatment of injuries or diseases caused by the patient committing a crime. If a situation arises where a patient has been injured due to a crime committed by another person, take the offenders money and then put him/her on death row.
Pour insane amounts of money into the elementary schools - teachers should be well paid for forming our next generation, and the children should be fed properly.
Stop worrying about convicting innocent people - there are too many people on this planet anyway. The world today is all about not caring about other people; why bother who gets killed or locked up?

I have a lot more excellent ideas for improving the world. Contact me for further information.

Dunroamin, duncarin, dunlivin

2004-12-12T13:55:00.000+01:00

Ok, I ripped the title off a Roger Waters track and there is no need to come running to check if I'm still alive - I will not commit suicide any time soon; I'm just tired of being the boring geek I have always been. My chances of finding a woman with the right looks, the right brains and the right attitude are just next to nil and I'm coming close to not caring anymore. The obvious solution to this problem is to focus on working my ass off, save up as much money as possible and... Then what? I want a woman and eventually kids to spend my money. We all know how old men without a woman and kids behave, whining about everything and forcing relatives to put them in nursing homes. I don't want that. If I don't have a wife and kids by 40 I'm jumping off a cliff.

Sex is on hold

2004-12-11T02:59:00.000+01:00

It's not that I don't like sex (because I really, really do) - it's just that I have more or less decided to do my best not to have sex until the counterpart (most likely a woman) is someone for which I feel a strong affection and with whom I (at least at that moment) wish to spend the rest of my life.

Finding this individual is obviously a tough task, which many men and women through history have failed to accomplish and instead ended up feeling sorry for themselves, talking to their cats and hitting playing children with sticks. I have no desire to become that type of person when I grow older, and that is why I ask of you, my readers to suggest methods of completing the task at hand. There are no quick and dirty solutions to this problem (except possibly wasting insane amounts of money and time on making myself a name at the local night clubs, earning the interest of blonde airheads with no relationship morals and high bullshit capacity) and I do not request one; I simply wish for my readers to give me suggestions on what can be done about this.

As usual: e-mail or comments are preferred methods of communication. Other methods are available from time to time but not on a regular basis.

Friends?

2004-11-27T23:18:00.000+01:00

Ten days without posts - I bet you all wonder what has happened since last time I shared my thoughts with the world.

It seems I will get full time employment at work from December 1st and on. Payraise, full insurance, some benefits and so on. If all goes well I will make at least ~$400 more each month. Yay me!

Debts will finally be paid, my car stands a chance of getting fixed, and there is a slight possibility I can find somewhere else to live than this little room (which I have described earlier in this blog). More on this some other time.

I need to make new friends somehow. Some of my old ones are totally worn out by now. It seems to me like the friends I almost never meet are the ones who still give me a sense of comfort. Them remembering me and actually missing my company after months of having almost no contact with me at all makes me feel somewhat important.

Important or not; apparently my writings interest you enough to take up those precious seconds of your life it takes for you to read through a post. Despite the world today being focused on accomplishing as much as possible in as little time as possible you make reading my latest post a priority. This too makes me feel important. Thank you.

Bombs, internet telephony and a bit of ranting

2004-11-17T07:34:00.000+01:00

Yesterday, some brainiac decided to tell local police that there was a bomb in a car parked in the middle of a residential area. The result? Evacuation of nearby houses while waiting for the bomb squad from Luleå (a couple of hours drive). Is anyone surprised that no bomb was found? Some kid probably wanted the police in the neighbourhood to keep his parents from arguing for at least a few hours. Mind you, this happened in an area where there is always at least one squad car due to a high concentration of criminals.

A few days ago I installed a software called Skype after thinking for about two years that it would be crap and not work good enough to be used for other than testing purposes. I thought wrong. Catch me on Skype as nocturnalmotorsports or just install it and avoid any contact with me.

A couple of schools in a nearby town installed surveillance cameras some time ago and now concludes that destructive activities have ceased completely. Now other schools in the county want to install surveillance cameras too, but politicians hesitate, whining about personal integrity (which in Sweden means that people should not be watched by Big Brother until they have already commited a crime - innocent people should not be watched). WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE!? Put cameras on every damn street corner, install gateways everywhere and force citizens to have a tracking devices surgically inserted into their bodies, then set up a system to record everyone's activities and whereabouts 24/7. Crime rates would drop by at least 99%.

Another notice about idiots; a team of teachers in Luleå apparently locked a three year old kid in a small room on several occasions. What possible excuse could adults with responsibility for a child's education have for putting the kid alone in a locked room?

Time to go to work and whine a bit more.

Superhuge

2004-11-13T02:51:00.000+01:00

I bought a Nokia 445Xi today. For those of you who think that's a GSM phone; it's not. It's a computer monitor. 21" tube, 1600x1200 maximum resolution, crisp picture. I've been using my TV for about two months since my old 17" KFC decided to enter permanent sleep mode. While using the TV is quite nice for watching movies and running games, text becomes virtually unreadable in 800x600 on 28" at 50Hz with a three meter viewing distance. My current viewing distance with the Nokia is about 30 centimeters - most of my field of view is occupied by Enlightenment at the moment.

Wzaah!

2004-11-11T13:36:00.000+01:00

So, almost two weeks have passed since my last post. Did you miss me?

These days I'm all work and no play, but that might change pretty soon. A friend of mine wishes to engage in furious battle against me, and I think my training is soon complete. Orcs and humans will be our soldiers of choice, "Warcraft III: Reign of Chaos" and "Warcraft III: Frozen Throne" our instruments of war. I have been promised a serious ass whooping, and considering my gaming experience I don't think he will face much of a challenge.

Is there anyone out there hanging on to an unused World of Warcraft open beta account? If so, please share. Sexual favours and home cooked meals are the possible methods of payment in exchange for a personal, unused account. Money is out of the question.

While on the subject; my financial situation might have a brighter future, if ever so slightly. A lot of crap is clearing up for some reason, and I have asked nicely for a payraise and received an if not overwhelmingly positive response at least not a negative one.

Maybe I will afford some christmas gifts this year? Send me your wish lists, either through e-mail or as comment to this post. Wish lists sent through other means of communication will be ignored.

Fucking crap

2004-11-01T08:35:00.000+01:00

After staying at a friend's place until 0200 last night fixing his computer I got home, watched a couple of music videos and then went to sleep. Woke up slightly when the alarms in my phones went off, but as usual I didn't get up. Suddenly, for some reason I felt an urge to check the time so I reached out and hit the light switch on my bedside clock. With a temporary boost of energy I jumped out of bed to get dressed when I realized it's 0857 - three minutes until I should be at work. Being this late I didn't wait for the car to get warm but hit the road immediately. Three blocks later there's a couple of police cars pulling people over for soberity check, and about ten cars lined up waiting when I got there. Fortunately, the police decided to pull one car over for more thorough checking while letting the rest pass by. Next, I ran into the regular morning traffic jam at the bridge, although this morning a little more jammed than usual. When I finally got to work I look at the clock on the wall and realize I'm ten minutes late but my two trainees haven't showed up yet. That didn't strike me as very odd since they both have a tendency to like sleep as much as I do, but twenty minutes later I started to wonder. I checked my GSM to see if they had tried to call me for some reason and noticed that the clock in the display said 0831.

I forgot to set my bedside clock and the three clocks at work when the rest of Sweden went one hour backwards on sunday morning due to daylight savings time, which means I was 50 minutes early to work and lost precious sleep. I hate myself.

Q&A time!

2004-10-27T23:37:00.000+02:00

I happened to click myself into some dude's blog, where he had answered a lot of questions which I do not know the actual source of. I decided to steal the questions and post my own answers to them here. The questions have been altered, moved and combined to look better and not take up more space than necessary. I assure you that my responses are truthful and accurate as far as I know.

What would you do if...
... you won a million dollars?
Pay all my debts, buy a house, buy a few cars, buy a girlfriend.
... your best friend needed one of your organs to survive?
If I could survive without it I would give it to him/her, otherwise I would have to take it under consideration.
... you saw someone breaking into your vehicle?
Call the police, then respectfully inform the perpetrator about his/her situation and make sure he/she does not leave the location before the police shows up.

Favorite...
... car/truck/SUV:
Mitsubishi Eclipse, since I own one.
... drink:
Milk.
... saying:
Carpe noctem.
... movie line:
Victim: "Jesus christ!" Pinhead: "Not quite." -- Hellraiser.
... time of day:
Whenever I'm not working.
... cereal:
ICA Special Flakes Red Berries.
... actor:
Several.
... actress:
Several.
... person:
None.

Describe...
... your room:
In need of some cleaning up.
... your apperance:
In need of some cleaning up.
... your personality:
Boring on the outside, fascinating on the inside.
... your job:
Pain.
... your parents:
My father is a coward. My mother is always right.
... your friends:
Lousy at keeping contact.
... your car/truck/SUV:
Mitsubishi Eclipse GS -92, black, 17" wheels.

Finish the sentence:
I need...
... love, money and a new job.
I want...
... sex, money and a new job.
I have to have...
... sex, love, money and a new job.
I have never...
... liked my boss.
I would like to...
... have sex.
Everyone says...
... bad things about me behind my back.
I hate...
... everyone.
I love...
... lots of things.

Would you...
... cheat on a significant other if he/she would never find out?
No.
... skydive?
If it was free of charge.
... jump off a bridge?
Depends on the bridge and what's beneath it.
... take your life to save someone elses?
Yes.
... eat 50 worms for $5,000?
I would sure as hell try.

Have you ever...
... shoplifted?
Yes.
... cheated on a significant other?
Yes.
... been cheated on?
Yes.
... got into a car accident?
No.
... had surgery?
No.
... got into a fight?
Not physically.
... thought you were going to die?
Yes.
... blacked out?
No.
... broken any bones?
Yes.

Are you afraid of...
... clowns?
No.
... spiders?
As long as they're not crawling on me I'm not bothered.
... heights?
Depends on the height.
... the dark?
No.
... enclosed places?
Depends on how enclosed.
... water?
No.
... midgets?
No.
... dogs?
No.
... your parents?
No.
... your boss?
Yes, he can fire me. No, he can't kill me.
... dying?
No.
... thunderstorms?
No.

Can you...
... cook?
Yes.
... sew?
A little.
... play an instrument?
Not any more.
... ski?
I could last time I tried.
... draw?
Schematics; yes. Portraits; no.
... fight?
In theory; yes.
... wiggle your ears?
Yes.
... whistle?
Yes.
... put your legs over your head?
Probably not. Not going to try.
... do a flip?
Probably not. Not going to try that either.

Are you...
... a jealous person?
No.
... a clean person?
No.
... good with money?
No.
... in shape?
Yes, some sort of shape.
... happy with yourself?
No.
... popular?
No.

The last time you...
... ate at a resturant:
Probably Eastern Palace a couple of months ago.
... went to a party:
Saturday before last.
... ate seafood:
Had a pasta salad with shrimps monday evening.
... kissed someone:
Three weeks ago?
... lied to someone:
To my boss, every day. Except this week, since he's in Italy.
... yelled at someone:
Yelled in general; today. Yelled in anger; months ago.
... had a crush on someone:
Constantly.
... were depressed:
Constantly.
... fought someone:
Never.

FIRSTS
First job:
Network administrator.
First screen name:
Santiago.
First self purchased tape:
No idea.
First piercing/tattoo:
'Dune' logo on left shoulder.
First credit card:
VISA.
First true love:
Elin.
First enemy:
I remember what he did but not his name or face.

LASTS
Last big car ride:
Sundsvall, saturday.
Last kiss:
My former girlfriend while she was still my girlfriend some weeks ago.
Last library book checked out:
No idea. Years ago.
Last movie seen:
The Last of the Mohicans.
Last beverage drank:
Glocken-Gold.
Last food consumed:
Sour milk and ICA Special Flakes.
Last phone call:
I answer the phone all the time at work.
Last CD played:
Blank & Jones - "The Nightfly"
Last annoyance:
My trainees.
Last soda drank:
Fanta.
Last ice cream eaten:
Probably a Magnum a couple of months ago.
Last time scolded:
Every other day by my boss.
Last shirt worn:
Grey t-shirt with 'MSW' logo on front and back.
Last sweater:
White. Borrowed from my brother.
Last website visited:
Mitsu Club Sweden (http://www.mitsuclubsweden.com/)

I...
... AM:
Alone and bored.
... WANT:
A new job.
... HAVE:
Endless love to share.
... WISH:
I had someone to love.
... HATE:
People who don't care about language. Oh, and my boss.
... FEAR:
Dying alone and unloved.
... HEAR:
Music.
... SEARCH:
For love.
... WONDER:
If I will get better paid if I ask for it.
... REGRET:
A lot.
... LOVE:
Some people.
... ALWAYS:
Annoy people.
... AM NOT:
A race car driver.
... DANCE:
Once or twice a year.
... SING:
When nobody else can hear me.
... CRY:
When people cheat me.
... AM NOT ALWAYS:
Nice.
... WRITE:
When I can put my thoughts into words.
... WON:
A cuddly little bear once.
... LOSE:
Every damn day.
... CONFUSE:
People and myself.
... NEED:
Love.
... SHOULD:
Go to sleep now.

DO YOU...
... KEEP A DIARY?
Yes.
... LIKE TO COOK?
Yes.
... HAVE A SECRET YOU HAVE NOT SHARED WITH ANYONE?
Probably.
... HAVE A CRUSH?
Yes
... WANT TO GET MARRIED?
Yes.
... GET MOTION SICKNESS?
No.
... THINK YOURE A HEALTH FREAK?
No.
... LIKE THUNDERSTORMS?
Yes.

FAVORITES:
NUMBER:
7.
COLOR:
Blue metallic.
DAY:
Saturday.
MONTH:
July.
SONG(S):
A lot of them.
SEASON:
Summer.
DRINK:
Milk.

PREFERENCES.
CUDDLE OR MAKE OUT:
Depends on the situation and the victim.
CHOCOLATE MILK OR HOT CHOCOLATE:
Hot chocolate.
MILK, DARK OR WHITE CHOCOLATE:
Dark chocolate.
VANILLA OR CHOCOLATE:
Vanilla.

IN THE LAST 24 HRS, HAVE YOU...
... CRIED?
No.
... HELPED SOMEONE?
Yes, it's my job.
... BOUGHT SOMETHING?
Yes, food.
... GOTTEN SICK?
A little cough.
... GONE TO THE MOVIES?
No.
... SAID 'I love you'?:
No.
... WRITTEN A REAL LETTER:
No.
... TALKED TO AN EX?
No.
... MISSED AN EX?
Yes.
... WRITTEN IN A JOURNAL?
Yes.
... HAD A SERIOUS TALK?
Not really.
... MISSED SOMEONE?
Yes.
... HUGGED SOMEONE?
No.
... KISSED SOMEONE?
No.
... FOUGHT WITH YOUR PARENTS?
No.
... FOUGHT WITH A FRIEND?
No.

I have no idea where these questions originally come from. If publishing them as I have done here constitutes some sort of copyright violation, please inform me immediately. Otherwise, feel free to copy them and publish them with your own answers.

What's wrong with people?

2004-10-27T18:26:00.000+02:00

Not people in general (this time), but people who run small businesses with a limited number of employees. Take my boss, for example, who most of the time has nothing to do with the day to day work at the garage. Last week I had a fever and stayed at home for three days. During this time he took care of running things while our two trainees did most of the job. This week has been total chaos since in his eyes the last car to be placed in his care should get highest priority, leaving him with a whole bunch of cars only half done. This monday he left for Italy (which of course is a relief on its own, but not when I want to yell at him), leaving me and the trainees with a lot of last week's work to do before being able to take care of this week's duties. It has taken us three days to get at least a bit back on schedule, but we're still two cars behind for tomorrow. Allow me to point out I work for a shit salary and the two trainees work for even less, and even the trainees are better at handling customers than my boss is.

I also noticed a friend of mine complaining about his boss going on a trip (destination and purpose unknown) with the promise to be back the same day salaries are supposed to be in his employees' hands. Him being the one who checks the time each employee has spent at work and reporting that to the guy who makes the payments of course pushes salaries forward a few days, but two days shouldn't be a problem. Those two days have passed and the boss in question has yet to return to work. Rumors apparently say he won't until friday at the earliest. What fucked up kind of way is that to take care of your staff?

On the bright side, I'm shit out of money, luck, love and sex and have nothing to live for, so I'm going to have a serious talk with my boss when he gets back from Italy.

2004-10-24T21:28:00.000+02:00

I feel I must tell those of my readers who have not seen how I live just what my home is all about: I live in a small house (or cabin to be more accurate) across the lawn from where a friend of mine and his sister lives. The cabin is something of a guest house that I rent since last summer. It has two rooms; a storage and my bedroom. I share toilet, kitchen and other facilities with the residents of the main house. One of these days I might get some pictures of the whole place for you nosy people to look at.

There was a party here yesterday, which started while I was in Sundsvall and ended some time about 0330 according to rumors. During the ten minutes I attended the party between coming home from Sundsvall and going to sleep, the father of the two people I live with managed to accuse me of trying to trick him into leaving the party, which made me feel very bad since I never had any intention of trying to make him leave. He was drunk, but I have met him lots of times before when he's been drunk and he has never acted that way before. Other people present at the time of the accusation in question were more or less baffled by his behaviour since most of them have met him on several occasions and just like me always thought of him as a very stable and "in control kind of guy".

As sundays come, this has probably been one of the worst ones I have experienced in a long time. Yesterday's accusation adding to my usual sunday nobody-likes-me-and-my-friends-only-talk-to-me-when-they-need-something-from-me mood was saved only by a short trip to check the different alternatives for mounting new loudspeakers in a friend's car. Fresh air, socializing and cars saves my life most of the times I feel like just pulling the cover over my head and never getting out of bed again.

I think I'm going to start writing lyrics for songs I can't compose. Are there any musicians among my readers who want to compose music for dark and depressed lyrics? I think industrial synthetic music like VNV Nation or Covenant would be perfect for my lyrics once I write them.

I'm going to bed now. I might get out of bed in the morning.

I went for a drive yesterday

2004-10-24T14:58:00.000+02:00

A friend of mine and his partner in pool crime were going to a nine ball competition in Sundsvall (roughly 270 kilometers from Umeå) and asked me to be their driver, which I of course accepted since I had nothing better to do. The downside was that I had to get up at 0600 yesterday. While they were playing pool I went to visit my father in Kramfors (about 85 kilometers from Sundsvall) and also went to check out my brother's new apartment. While there I borrowed a bed for a few hours to catch up on some sleeping. After getting back to Sundsvall I found my friend in finals for third place and his partner in crime in finals for first place, resulting in fourth and first respectively. A quick stop at McDonald's and a few liters of gasoline later we were on our way back to Umeå, where we arrived some time around 0130.

People were partying when I finally got home, but I decided to just say hello to everyone and then go to bed.

Oh, crap...

2004-10-20T20:03:00.000+02:00

Yesterday I felt awfully tired and noted an irritating pain in my back. I thought I might have done something stupid at work and overestimated my back's ability to cope with crawling under cars, the resulting pain causing tiredness. I was proven wrong this morning when I woke up with a fever and came to the conclusion that I have a cold. This was totally unexpected, since I haven't experienced any of the typical pre-cold symptoms. Maybe it's HIV?

Well, I never forced anyone to do it

2004-10-18T01:16:00.000+02:00

Interesting from a male/female social and sexual interaction point of view: A New Drink

Ugh...

2004-10-17T18:07:00.000+02:00

So, I went to a party last night. My boss' daughter had her annual birthday and had decided to throw a party. She offered microwave popped popcorn and the seven basic ingredients for long island iced tea for those who felt like getting really drunk. I did, apparently. I managed to get one glass of strong iced tea down together with five bottles of Smirnoff Black Ice, Cid Red Mango and various other refreshing beverages before the last seven of us left the party to check out Nattis (one of the night clubs in town) where a potential boyfriend for the birthday girl was waiting.

In the two hours or so I was at Nattis I wasted some money at a black jack table, drank a couple of Xiders, had a vodka lime which I decided half way through that I really didn't need and left on a table. I also got a phone number from a girl who attended the party and joined us on our trip to Nattis. Beautiful, smart and tall. Perhaps a bit too curious about astrology, but I've met women with far more annoying interests.

Today's question, and a question who has been asked by both men and women around the world for ages: How many days after getting the phone number to a member of the opposite sex should one wait before actually calling? This particular girl apparently doesn't live here in Umeå, but the question needs not be answered with this specific situation in mind.

I woke up about an hour ago, after sleeping for fourteen straight hours and finally getting rid of most of the headache. I don't think I'm quite sober yet.

Nothing to report

2004-10-16T20:28:00.000+02:00

Not much interesting has happened since my last few posts, but I thought I'd indicate my sustained breathing by tossing another post at my readers.

Going to a party tonight. Some sort of report will probably show up here within 24 hours.

Can you see the Porsche?

2004-10-11T22:37:00.000+02:00

streetcarsfest4011.jpg.big.jpg (JPEG Image, 1024x680 pixels)

What if...?

2004-10-10T15:27:00.000+02:00

Is it possible there are people in this world who are meant to never find and keep the one true love of their life? Maybe I am supposed to live my life alone, accepting the fact that to most people I'm a complete moron who should not expect to be met with love when I give love? At first, I was suspecting that me being a car mechanic (which might not be a high profile job) and spare time geek (which never interested a lot of women) could be the problem, but then I realized most women I meet disappear before they even learn my name. What's wrong with my personality? The customers at work seem pleased with the way I behave, and there are people who can stand hanging out with me for hours. There just aren't any women who look at me as anything but a guy who they can call when they need a ride somewhere. Not that I mind driving as long as I get at least some sort of appreciation and preferrably money for fuel or some other form of compensation. A kiss would suffice, both as show of appreciation and as compensation.

However, I suspect that women in general will continue using and abusing me as much as possible and ignoring me when they have no use for me.

I also suspect that at most two women who know my name will read this, both of which will think I should stop whining since one of them actually seems to respect me and the other one is a former girlfriend. If any other woman who knows my name reads this; you should probably think about the above statement about use and abuse.

Wants pass, needs remain

2004-10-08T01:22:00.000+02:00

I still wish for a sexual encounter with an attractive female, and as the title of this post indicates, I'm beginning to label this as a need instead of a want.

Come on, girls. What do I need to do? Just tell me.

Wants or needs?

2004-10-06T20:49:00.000+02:00

Tonight, I would very much like to engage in sexual activities with a member of the opposite gender.

I'm beginning to wonder...

2004-10-05T01:15:00.000+02:00

Of all the girls I've had a relationship with a strong urge to scream, insult and kill fills me when thinking about all but one. This is strange, since none of them have very much in common when it comes to how I react when seeing or meeting them. Some of them I say hello to, some I ignore completely and some I can have a normal conversation with. I have today come to the conclusion that the one former girlfriend of mine that does not in me stir strong feelings of rage is the only one I have feelings for strong enough to classify as love. The one former girlfriend that I feel could really do me some good if we explored the possibility to get back together.

Since I have made it an unintentional point to be a complete asshole with all my girlfriends, the chance of any single one of them ever wanting me back these days is about as likely as me straightening out my life before next weekend.

I need a girlfriend who knows me well enough not to need to be next to me as often as possible to get to know me and discover new fantastic details about my personality. This means I need a girlfriend who has spent at least a couple of years in my company, which drastically cuts the number of possible candidates to a level which allows for counting on the fingers of one hand and still having fingers left for counting apples. I can think of two women who have had that amount of contact with me, both of which are former girlfriends of mine. There are probably one or two I'm forgetting, but if I'm forgetting them they're not really candidates, are they?

I realise I'm getting sort of one track minded here and only rambling on about women, how they annoy me and how much I need one, but I'm not quite done yet, so if you like it, keep checking back for more posts.

I want...

2004-10-03T23:52:00.000+02:00

... to stop smoking (tobacco).
... to start cooking at home instead of eating fast food every day.
... to be better at cleaning up after myself and not leave stuff in the wrong places.
... to entertain myself with other spare time activities than computers.
... a woman to share my life and my future, and help me reach my goals.

It is happening again

2004-10-03T02:02:00.000+02:00

Our relationship lasted for two weeks, with an age difference of seven years and not one single common interest (except possibly sex). Why the fuck am I feeling like I just ended a longtime relationship with my one and only soulmate? Every single detail in this situation points to the fact that it was never meant to be, which I knew right from the beginning but ignored because I'm a total fuckhead who steps onto the track when I see the train coming down the hill full throttle.

What I'm doing now is actually trying to socially engineer her into taking me back, contrary to my better judgement. She's at a friend of mine's place, using IRC to communicate bullshit to me. As a great grande finale she says good night and hints that she's sleeping there, quickly followed by a wish for us to be friends. Has anyone heard the phrase "I hope we can be friends anyway" before?

Now I'm going to sleep, hoping I never wake up again. Oh, how wonderful it would be to slip away from this misery, never to suffer the torments of love again.

... and so it goes on and on...

2004-10-02T15:40:00.000+02:00

As of some time around 1430 hours today (CET) I'm officially single. Again. No surprises, no "but I think we have such a great relationship", no "I'm going to kill that dude". We simply want different things from a relationship, and there's no point in arguing or trying to persuade her to want the same things as I do. That wouldn't be fair, would it?

So, you can resume sending contact information for your hot female friends, sisters, daughters and mothers. One of them might be lucky enough to spend the rest of my life with me.

Life, love and women are dropping off the charts

2004-09-30T22:02:00.000+02:00

Life sucks ass. My finances are going down the drain, my job bores me more than ever, my car is breaking down without explanation and my computer is acting up like a teenager.

Love sucks ass. I found myself a girlfriend a couple of weeks ago, and soon realised my criteria regarding relationships are more or less impossible for a woman to meet. This girl is 19 years old and my involvement with her was against my own judgement right from the start. I don't know quite what happened, but suddenly she was my girlfriend, despite me telling her right from the beginning she is too young. The first week she was all huggy and cuddly, and spent most of the time with me. Now I haven't even seen her in two days, and she hasn't called me today as she said yesterday she would. Strange behaviour from a girl who ditched her last boyfriend for acting the same way.

Women suck ass. Not literally, but you get the idea, and if you're male you know exactly what I mean. How come women can't just explain what the fuck they're thinking and tell men what they want from them? Now, women will start whining about men not understanding them, but that's the whole fucking problem, isn't it? Men have complained since the age of cro magnon about not understanding women, but women as a group have not once tried to do anything to ease cross-gender understanding. A scene from the movie "White men can't jump" (starring Wesley Snipes and Woody Harrelson) comes to mind: Harrelson's character is in bed together with his girlfriend, who suddenly turns to him and says "I'm thirsty". Since men in most cases need fluid when we're thirsty, the helpful boyfriend goes to the kitchen and returns with a glass of water, which she promptly turns down. An argument about wanting to discuss and share the feeling of thirst instead of having a glass of water ends in the boyfriend splashing the water in his girlfriend's face. Am I the only one who thinks this is a fairly accurate display of the behaviour of women in general? Am I the only one who thinks the boyfriend should have fetched a two gallon bucket of water to pour over his girlfriend instead of just that one glass?

Oh, hey, I'm back!

Cars, cars, cars.

2004-08-07T22:07:00.000+02:00

A friend of mine and myself went to check out the Uphill Racing show today. When arriving at the show we cruised into the parking lot and found a nice spot to park the car when suddenly one of the guys from the entrance came running up to the car, shouting to us that my friend should take the car inside and put it in the show. After about 15 minutes (!) of persistence we managed to persuade my friend to actually take the car to the football field where the show was held.

Lots of nice cars there, I tell you. Quite a bit of not-quite-so-nice cars, too.

My intent to get a nice body kit and some other goodies for the Eclipse grew stronger today. Hopefully, my motivation will last.

Oh, and I went to a gas station to buy a pair of sunglasses, and that cute girl I've seen working there a couple of times before was working. I asked her for advice on what pair of sunglasses to buy, decided on a pair and she gave me a nice discount. Nice girl.

Eek!

2004-08-04T22:30:00.000+02:00

Ok, there are computer games that can make you a wee bit nervous while playing it. There are even computer games that can make you on edge. I'm telling you, though; running Doom 3 on a nice, big TV, accompanied by a complete surround sound audio setup in a small, dark room makes my heart pound and my stomach turn upside down.

I seriously hope Half-Life 2 will have surround sound support. I really, really do. Seriously.

yawn

2004-08-04T06:55:00.000+02:00

Been up for half an hour and I'm just about waking up now. Need to get dressed and go out for a smoke. Something to drink would be nice. Red Bull, perhaps? So be it.

Yieehaah!

2004-08-03T22:11:00.000+02:00

Got my driver's license back today!

Now all I have to do is get my car running properly and run it through authorities to make it street legal for another year.

Something happened to me.

2004-08-01T14:37:00.000+02:00

Last night I wrote a new presentation text for my user on Helgon.net, listing different reasons for me to think the readers of it suck ass. Today, I added one more reason and suddenly realised something must have burst in me on the way to work on friday. The behaviour and way of thinking my boss showed made me finally decide to tell him and his wife what I think about my job, how I want it to be and why I think they're treating me unfairly. I don't recall deciding to tell everyone else why I think they suck ass, but apparently that's a bit of a bonus. Maybe I will find the time and energy to translate the list of reasons from swedish to english in a few hours, providing insults to even more people.

Have a nice day, asshole!

... and a party there was.

2004-08-01T02:21:00.000+02:00

Arrived some time between 20 and 21, finding all the attending people gathered around a table on the front lawn. We played some games, drank some beverages of varying sorts and quality, smoked a lot of cigarettes and had a generally good time. At around 23 we decided to move the party inside, where we played more games, drank more beverages, smoked more cigarettes and kept having a good time. After a couple of more hours I started feeling it was time for me to go home, and since Magnus was about to leave I bummed a ride with him, dropping by Shell on the way to buy some food for tomorrow.

Now I'm at home, lonely and sad. If I would have had anything to say about my current situation, I could have been less sober or less lonely, but as usual I'm home relatively early, quite sober and all alone.

I need to get myself a life.

Funny pic of the week (or something)

2004-07-31T17:11:00.000+02:00

Hung over.

2004-07-31T15:41:00.000+02:00

Slightly so.

Poured a 50cc bottle of Sprite down my throat and smoked three Marlboros to clear my head, and it seem to have worked at least to some extent. Rumors of another party tonight are floating about.

Last night, Weine started ranting about the meaning of the title of Chicago's track "25 or 6 to 4" so I suggested he used his Google skillz to find the answer. Two minutes or so later he found a post on a lyric site including the chemical composition of LSD: 25R624. It seems most of the groundbreaking artist in the history of music have all been using drugs of one sort or the other. Go figure.

To take my mind off things less amusing...

2004-07-30T21:00:00.000+02:00

... I'm going to lajlo's place to party tonight. I hope I get to have a fabulous evening, as well as everybody else.

... but for christ's sake!

2004-07-30T20:38:00.000+02:00

I'm getting awfully tired of dealing with my boss. Today, I finally made up my mind to get a really interesting argument regarding my working environment and motivational perks going, but of course he chose this particular day to be the single day this week he didn't feel like showing himself at work.

I seriously hope I still have as much anger and energy built up next time I meet him (which will probably be on monday). All possibilities considered, I'm preparing myself for a situation in which I will have to change the title of this blog to "Life through the eyes of a geeky former car mechanic."

Eclipse (not lunar or solar)

2004-07-28T19:44:00.000+02:00

This evening two friends of mine helped me transport my Mitsubishi Eclipse to my place of work so I can start the work of replacing the head gasket. With a bit of luck and some motivation I will have the head removed by tomorrow evening, ready to be transported to the-guy-who-does-the-grinding. This gives me all weekend to work on a new exhaust system and some other stuff. Maybe clean the car up a bit? The hood needs a bit of scratching and painting, and I should probably replace the plastic stripes on the rear lights with some real paint. I should probably switch wheels, too, since the tires currently mounted are close to the definition of slicks.

All work and no play makes uid0 a dull boy, but if I put my mind to it I might have it ready for the road about the same time as my new driver's license arrives.

Folksam

2004-07-28T06:54:00.000+02:00

Ok, everyone please send an e-mail to webmaster@folksam.se and complain about http://www.folksam.se only being fully available to users of Internet Explorer. Their "Internet office," where you can keep track of your insurances and savings in Folksam explicitly denies access to users of other web browsers than Internet Explorer.

Show them they can't support Microsoft's bullying of the competition. Make a difference. Prove to me I'm not the only one who cares.

Insomnia...

2004-07-28T01:32:00.000+02:00

I can't get no sleep. In just over four hours all hell will be breaking loose: Loud music and two or three telephone alarms as well as a backup bedside clock should get me out of bed no matter how few hours of sleep I manage to get tonight. With this in mind I would very much like to go to sleep within not more than five minutes. A bunch of Chicago and a few Peter Cetera solo tracks in the playlist might help. So be it.

ComvIQ 0wnz.

2004-07-27T23:40:00.000+02:00

I bought a used and slightly broken GSM telephone from a friend today - "slightly broken" meaning the inner display is hardly readable since she got upset over something her boyfriend said over the phone and tossed it, carefully aiming it at some solid rocks - and managed (due to a sudden lack of memory synapses) to screw up the PIN on my ComvIQ SIM card. This being a "pay before you call" type of service, I did not have the PUK to unlock it after mistyping the PIN three times.

After a couple of minutes considering the consequences of my actions and the possible solutions to my quite delicate problem, I decided to call ComvIQ customer services and get a simple "yes" or "no" regarding the possibility to receive the PUK from them. After "less than three minutes" waiting I was greeted by a friendly chap introducing himself as Henrik, to whom I explained my problem and asked if I was totally fried. His reply was (to my great relief) that he could give me the PUK over the phone if I simply answered a couple of questions to check my validity as owner of the card in question.

My slight hesitation and uncertainty regarding how much credit I had on the card and when I last deposited credit to it didn't seem to throw him off the slightest, but instead he read me the PUK as promised and I am very pleased to inform you all that it worked, so none of you girls need to change my number in your phone books.

A big, fat hug goes to Henrik at ComvIQ customer services for helping out so fast, and another (slightly bigger and fatter) hug to ComvIQ for having such great services and employees.

X11 galore.

2004-07-26T22:10:00.000+02:00

I am finally beginning to feel satisfied with my X11 setup. This will of course change numerous times in the next few days until I manage to create an environment in which I feel comfortable, but at the moment I think it's rather cool.

Ka-ching.

2004-07-26T20:09:00.000+02:00

Today I made about €110 extra at work and left three hours early due to lack of broken cars. Two bills and a one day late birthday dinner with my brother (who turned 20 yesterday) later I was still on the financial upside of my situation as of getting up this morning.

I will hopefully get my dear Eclipse to work one way or the other tomorrow so I can spend tomorrow evening removing the head to replace the gasket. With a bit of luck it will be running smoothly before the end of the week so I can fully enjoy getting my driver's license back.

Oh, I'm probably gonna love this.

2004-07-26T00:42:00.000+02:00

I hate myself for it, but I have to admit it.

Once I get everything straightened out with the RSS feed and all the other stuff that seems cool I will probably start writing complete nonsense several times a day.

So, I finally went and got myself a blog.

2004-07-25T23:49:00.000+02:00

What's next? Buying Microsoft products and driving a Volvo? Well, mainstream people seem to have more friends than I do, so why the hell not?

I'll get back to you on this matter.