Ashamed?

Yes, I most certainly am. I'm ashamed for all my unpaid debts, but feeling bad about owing people money does not make me any richer.

Don't worry, if I owe you money you will get it. I'm not in any way trying to run from my debts, I'm just hiding from them at the moment. When I constantly live with just enough money to pay my bills and feed me through a month I just don't give a shit about who I owe money and how much they nag about it. Last month I was forced to quit smoking - a vice I did not really want to give up - for financial reasons. This month I had to borrow my girlfriend's personal Jet gasoline billing card to get to and from work without spending all my food money on fuel.

No, I'm not the kind of guy who talks to people about postponing payments and similar. For some reason I was never raised with social skills as a goal, and some skills I would have been a lot better off if I had learned a long time ago are just now starting to develop. That's not some kind of excuse or cry for help, that's the simple fact and is not open for discussion or treatment.

I admit I'm really lousy with financial planning and I have never been really good at saving money. I can probably list about a hundred less thought trough financial decisions done by me in the last five years or so. This does not change the decisions made or the results thereof, and nothing I can do really will.

This month is my first with my new employer, and I'm having a great time compared to the place I worked before. Financially, this month is looking quite good; I might not be able to pay all my debts entirely, but I will make substantially debt reducing payments to a certain number of individuals.

Just calm down and leave me alone. Comments like "why [...]?", "when [...]?", "how [...]?" and variations of "put your money where your keyboard is" will not yield results interesting to either of us.